Ryan turned 30 and had a very classy dinner party. It was such a monumental event that I actually left my apartment for it—an increasingly rare occurance these day as you know. Well, here are the photos, gang. I've got another bunch of pix from the last month or so that I will try to post soon. But right now I'm gonna go back to watching The Office seasons 2 and 3 on DVD. Fact: That's all I do now. I have it mostly memorized and I've had dreams (some sexual in nature, others just merely pleasant) about the show every night this past week. Also, at work we have the same office phones that they have on the show. I'm expecting to lose my grip on reality any day now and answer the phone saying, "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam." Then I will start wondering where my boyfriend Jim Halpert is. (Have you seen him? He didn't come in to the office today and I am worried.) If I start making montages of the "top ten Jim and Pam scenes" set to Death Cab For Cutie songs and posting them on YouTube, please kill me.

Anyway... Happy birthday Ryan! Thank you for keeping me halfway sane.

UPDATE: Jesse just gave me flack for not writing captions for these photos. So now I've written captions. For each and every one. Whee.

             
Fancy dinner menu chock full o' delicious foods. The salad was the
best salad I think I've ever had, but that's cuz it had candy in it and the
dressing was like orange juice.



Ryan made everyone make him birthday balloons.  Or, not "made." "Suggested."



Here is a photo of Ryan holding a balloon that says "3" and a balloon that says "0."
I don't know why.



Teddy made a toast, is what's going on here.



Look at his little suit.



The round thing was good. I could eat five thousand of those right now. I'm sitting here at work
and I am hungry! Goddamn tuna salad. Not very filling!



Look at that candlelight. Long how nice and long that table is.  That's class.



Wuh-oh! Penis cake!



My friend Jim started the company that makes these cakes. It's called Masturbakers.



Guest caption by Thomas Morton: "Who farted?" (He doesn't understand captions)



Guest caption by Jesse Pearson "Hey Ladies, yer wastin' yer time with THAT one!"
[said in 1950s Borscht-Belt comedian voice]



That's Kunle and Ryan's dad.



Aaron and the bday boy.



Teddy, who put together the whole party and whose lovely house it was in.


     
Smooching Chris.                                                                                          Ryan always has the awesomest interns.



Smooching Jack.



More smooching...



Ryan and his dad being kinda gross.


          
For Ryan's birthday I got him a bunch of stuff including some nice high-thread-count bed sheets (because he always has crappy Kmart sheets and
I wanted to get him those fancy ones they have in fancy hotels like the Ritz--the brand is called Frette or something. But guess what? Those cost,
like, literally $1,000 for a set of two sheets! Who pays that much for sheets? What if you got periody on them??) and also a mug from Veselka, and
I dunno, some other stuff that he totally loved more than anyone else's presents.



Chris and Jack.



Gillian and Dakota.


      
Dancing!



Smokin' on the smokin' roof.



And ta-da! A caption for every photo. In your face, Jesse.



Those are the money beets.


PS: Note to the anonymous donor (whose return address just said "John Smith, 101 Some Old Street, Philadelphia, PA" hahaha!) who mailed me this exquisite cat sweatshirt: Thank you!!! I love it. I wore it to the big cat championships at Madison Square Garden when we filmed it for The Cute Show, and if you watch part one (which airs soon on VBS.tv) you will see two ladies with Long Island accents talk about how you can't even find stuff as good as this on eBay and how it must have cost upward of $60 for such fine craftsmanship. Thank you, thank you, Mr. Mystery Gift!